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Poems by marcel


Breaking The Silence

I want to tell you a story
You must listen carefully
Or my soft-spoken words will pass you by
There was once a little boy
With big brown eyes and chocolate brown skin
His dimples were deeper than a crater
Smile wider than an abyss
A single mother gave him love
A single mother gave him her trait
A smile is what he spoke
A frown is how he wept
Growing up with that smile
His weapon against the world
His hope for an answer
Not quite knowing how to ask
He spoke only when necessary
Listened only with necessity
Words became his nightmare
His worst fear in life
Attacked by misunderstanding
Stalked by non-communication
Burdensome this condition
They say is the cause
His left-brain inflicted
An excessive amount of Dopamine
Foreign these words are to a child
Real the pain they have caused

As a teenager things got no better
Still haunted by visions of words
Challenged more by life each day
Therapist he would entertain
Answers they could not ascertain
The quiet guy with a smile
What he became known as
Few friends he entrusted
Ignorant foes he encountered
A quiet man is a dangerous man
That is what they whispered
“I am not a bad guy”
He thought to himself
“One day I will tell them
When I find the words”

A grown man now
No closer to finding his words
But closer to finding himself
Speaking less frequently
Observing more acutely
Reading almost fervently
Imagining often vividly
Trusting very cautiously
Absorbing reality
Understanding the cause
Finally accepting himself
Fear of verbal speech
Turned to strength of self-expression
Speaking but not literally
Expressing his thoughts artistically
Beautiful tattoos on his body
Tell a story much like mines
Life vs. Death
Hope vs. Despair
Written words would become powerful
An alternative to spoken
His poetic words
Spoke a lifetime of missed chances
A future of self-discovery
This is where I end this story
Because this is where my life begins
A better understanding of life in general
Has been the key to accepting my infliction
To embrace it as a gift
You see, stuttering is something I cannot change
But I can control it
Sometimes I let it roam freely
Confident I am it’s master
Fluent words of strength
I command it at a moments notice
Inside I am still the smiling boy
But outside is the man
Facing my challenges
Breaking my silence



My Destiny

>From nothingness I was called upon
A thought or an afterthought
Of two bodies joined as one
An extended baptism performed by God
Blessed with promise
A future messenger of hope
Born out of passion or for-the moment-love
A gift from God they received
Touched by the world my soul forever infected
No thanks to E.. and that forbidden bite

And thus my journey began
In search of the man and servant
I was created to be
I fear I am heading in the wrong direction
A curse from the Devil, my soul inherited
I will repay Him this favor
Once my destiny is fulfilled
God will grant me this knowledge
Once my heart becomes pure
Entrance to the Gar…
Access to the tr..

A pure heart free of sin
My goal in life since I was a child
Growing up as a youngster
The words of the Book my only companion
A preacher I would become
The world I would enlighten
Friends and Family pushed me to spread the Word
Something special they saw in me
Dreams of me walking with God
Only strengthened my resolve
But this thing called Sin
Has me in its grasp
And I can’t break free
One step towards the light
Takes me two steps back to reality
The older I become
The tougher it becomes to stay on the path
Evil rears its ugly head
And waters it down with pleasure
What man can resist temptation?
Am I not a man, subjected to Sin?
I am trying as hard as I can Lord
Every attempt to overcome my tainted soul
Is met with the sweet taste of temptation
I walk upon it, without hesitation
Drinking this elixir to quench my thirst
How can anything that tastes this good be bad?
What bit of knowledge have I not been given?

Open my eyes, Dear Lord
Show me the righteous path
Give me the knowledge so I can reach the multitudes
We are all Blacksouls
Victims of that day in the Gar…
I want to be one of the Shepherds
Leading the world out of despair
I will get there my Brothers and Sisters
For my destiny is branded in my heart
I have lost faith
But my Lord has never lost faith in me
It might not happen today
Nor even tomorrow
But listen to me closely
A bit of knowledge he has given me
With my last breath on Earth
I will ask for forgiveness
God will embrace me as His child
Transferring the knowledge I sought
An Angel I will become
Guiding all Blacksouls to the light
Thus repaying the Devil His favor
With a smile on my face
My destiny now fulfilled

Praising our Heavenly Father
Kneeling at His feet
He gently lifts me off my knees and whispers in my ear
Knowledge for the World to hear
A messenger I have become
Gliding across the heavenly skies
A shout of triumph in my voice

“A rebirth for a new beginning
Our maker’s plan
He will deliver us from ourselves
And make us one
He will take us to the Gar…
And rename us …”



Tattoo Man

The pain of my soul runs deep
To a place where light dare not appear
I am trapped in despair, surrounded by demons
The scratches on the wall of my inner heart an attempt for freedom
The hands of darkness drag me back down to the pits of sin
My lord why don’t you listen to my screams
Every unanswered cry only adds to the doubt
Of your existence and love that I have heard but not seen
If seeing is believing then a fool I have been
For I fear my days are numbered for I have nowhere to turn
And only darkness to hide
I have coped this far, a small cheer for my human spirit
I am running out of small victories
My hopes almost tapped out
The only things that remain are my pleasures and pains
The pleasures are small and few but relished like a lover
Ecstasy and lust forever a source of pleasure
Happiness and laughter always in the nick of time
Now here is the ironic part
The twist of my twisted life
My pain is my saving grace; I have come to realize
My weapon against the dark, is darkness itself
Because pain is reality and reality is my pain
In fact, when lacking pain, I search for it fervently
It is a part of me that I need to survive
My spirit absorbs this reality like a sponge soaking up water
And when my spirit can no longer absorb anymore
My physical body screams for its share
My spirit accommodates with visions of self-expression
A transferal of inner pain in the form of a tattoo
Every needle prick releases the darkness
As the red puddles become a print of life
This pain is different, much more satisfying then inner pain
Like an orgasm between lovers and the release of semen
Life is reproduced a portrait of you
The thrill is short lived but the results everlasting
For when the inner pain has dissipated my outer portrait is a reminder
Of that which does not kill me can only make me stronger
My life mixed with reality and pain
Will form my black shield of hope
Walking fearlessly through the dark and evil
Because I know whom I am fighting, he kind of looks like me
I know why I am fighting, It is written all over my body
One question remains
When will I see the light?



Wake up!!!!!!

My mind is in another realm
No colors or awareness
No memory and no purpose
Moving at the speed of light
Total Darkness surrounding
I am just a passenger in this vehicle of mystery
The faceless driver I know not
Though I feel I should
Where are we going?
Why do I care?
There is no passing of time in this place
The clock tells me so
I sit back and relax
Trying to make this real
Faces and images surround us
A blurred kaleidoscope of memories
I see the cliff
Feel my fate
The driver makes no attempt to change course
Soundlessly we soar down the abyss
The driver vanishes
And reality appears
Falling…………Falling……………………
As the air hits my face I snap out of my dream-like state
I am going to die
I can’t believe this
Maybe this is a dream
One of those lucid dreams
I have had them in the past
But this one feels so real
Falling faster…..and faster……………..
Pain in the pit of my stomach
My senses start to play tricks on me
Visions of faces I cannot make out
Mumbled voices I cannot hear
If this is a dream
Let me close my eyes and quickly I will wake up
Opened eyes still falling
Why haven’t I found the bottom
I just want an end to this
Have I done something wrong?
Am I paying for the past or future?
What the fu-k is going on?
Oh no!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I see the bottom
Lord! Help me!!
Wake up!!!!!Wake up, Ke…!!!!!!!!!!Wake upppppppp!!!!!!!!!
Bright light, feeling of euphoria
Where am I?
I am in bed
It was all a dream
A splash of cool water will clear my mind
Bathroom lights on
Faceless driver staring at me from the mirror
Why does he look like me?
Ringggggggggggggggggg!!!!!!!!!!!!
That sounds like an alarm clo…
I am in bed
Am I still dreaming?
The snores of my sleeping wife answer my question
The sounds of the birds outside quiets my heart
Light beaming in from the window
Brings me to realization
Ok God, I hear you



The Devil’s Ride

Sleeping the dreamer’s sleep
Head upon the pillow
Stomach pressed against the mattress
Mind oblivious to reality
The quietness of the night
Takes you into a different world
Where spirits from the underworld
Navigate the mysterious dark
Strange things our eyes cannot see
Affect the body and the mind
Like a thief in the night, evil invades
An unwelcome ghost to share your bed
You awake with a startle and try to move
But the spirits from the Nethers gives you hell
The pressure is unbelievable, this inhuman force
You open your mouth to scream
But silent laughter is all you hear
Daring you to scream louder
Claustrophobia sets in
Soon will come suffocation
Your last chance for freedom
Comes in the form of a prayer
The devils hold is released
As God intervenes
A sigh of relief
As you stare in the dark
The night earns your respect
But adds no fear to your heart
You quietly thank God
And sleep the dreamer’s sleep



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Biographical sketch: Just recently started to write for self expression. I believe very much in one
expressing themselves. I have the tattoos to prove it. Writing has given me another outlet.

marcel recommends:

Iliad and the Odessey by Langston Hughes
Reason: Many might not consider this book by Homer as poetry. But it was beautiful writing to
me, and I consider that poetry.

Recommendations for writers:

Your heart and soul


 


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